Eli’s Epic.

Basket broke. Eggs everywhere. Very sad. 

Today was my first day of classes at the University of Auckland! Here is an hourly breakdown of my day: 7 AM: asleep 8 AM: awake, go to campus bookstore to buy notebooks 9 AM: explore campus, settle down in engineering building, do pre-lecture work for drama class 10 AM: finish pre-lecture work, do more exploring get free Doritos and Krispy Kreme 11 AM: attend first class (Process Dynamics and Control), get educated 12 PM: eat Doritos 1 PM: go to club expo, sign up for clubs, meet up with friends 2 PM: eat lunch (sushi) 3 PM: attend second class (Advanced Microbial Technology in Bioprocess Engineering), sit through first lecture 4 PM: (still in class) do first in-class activity (using 2 different methods to put yeast into a petri dish (streaking and spreading)) 5 PM: go home, take a shower 6 PM: make and eat dinner (ramen with chicken) 7 PM: clean up dinner, chill out 8 PM: rest, go to fdoc wine night (don't drink any wine) 9 PM: jackbox games, lounging 10 PM: "", drawing...

I surprised myself this morning. Typically, I am a cold-topping man when it comes to my bagels. The bagel must be toasted, of course, but no one could tell me that cream cheese is better served warm. But when I found myself in the bagel shop this morning, I found that the cream cheese simply wasn't calling my name. No, this morning I would try something different, even if that difference was vast. I'm trying to try new things (I went to Denny's for the first time yesterday), and so today I pivoted from my traditional cold-topping bagel to something warmer (it was actually steaming when I got it). Thus begins my first-ever bagel review, which is something I hope to carry on with me into the future, as I plan on eating bagels until I can no longer eat solid foods. I got The Brekkie Bagel from Goodness Gracious, the closest bagel-specific café to my current dorm. The Brekkie Bagel comes with (taken directly from the menu) "fried egg, crispy bacon, tomato, seasonal greens,...

Not too much to say here, just have quite the hankering for a certain holed bread. My mission tomorrow will be to acquire and eat a bagel, and I will report back with my results. 

If anyone didn't know, some pretty big things have happened to me recently. Firstly, I shipped off to New Zealand, which has been exciting and beautiful and warm! I'm having lots of fun and I can't wait to see what the rest of my time here has in store. My classes don't start for another week, but I'm lowkey excited to see how they go and get into a bit of a routine. It has been fun having lots of freedom thus far, though. I've gotten to see a lot of Auckland (though I'm sure there's still very much to explore) and it's been nice to become acquainted with the NZ living. I'm happy to say that I have negative notes on this front. Unfortunately, in regards to my second life, things have not been going as well. Michaela and Austin broke up in a nasty feud, which resulted in Austin packing up shop and moving out to Mobile. Michaela's still clearly in a pretty bad state, and the fact that our new accountant, Gerald, is a real hard-ass is certainly ...

Schmiggleborp - the feeling of wet sand between your toes (not dry sand though) Abbitikitica - the taste of burnt breadcrumbs, contextually means that even though they don't taste great, you secretly love it and purposefully burn your toast just a little bit every time so that you can get the delectable feeling of abbitikitica in your mouth (I know definitions aren't supposed to use the word but I'm the one making them up and I don't care) Rubroni - things that look sharp but are actually dull Rubrono - things that look dull but are actually sharp Gwack - another word for a potato sack race Buttittlekist - the tingly feeling you get when assembling Ikea furniture Scoompadoomp - when unalienable rights start to feel just a little bit alienable Athoulious - the relationship you have with someone when they're really getting on your nerves and you really could use a big plate of spaghetti to throw at them but you don't have any spaghetti and you're too shy to ac...

We need to make planes more fun. I'm boutta go on a long-ass plane ride, and I'm through with planes always being so negative about everything. First of all, airplane seat colors are BORING. Where's the neon? Where's the polka-dots? Where's the verve? Where's the excitement? Airlines are all about "we're so great, we have all the best things," but their seats literally evoke zero joy from anyone. In fact, they colors of the airplane seats actively make me sad. As such, I've grown to associate flying with sadness. That can't be good for branding, right? It needs to be fixed. Also, in-flight entertainment? I can watch TV anywhere, thank you very much. I want a SHOW. There should be a mic stand and a sign-up list on every flight, and so every trip you get a little bit of open-mic action to provide you with real entertainment. Or, maybe, just maybe, they could put animals on the back of every plane and have a little petting-zoo to accompany you...

George Washington is a load of bullshit. Like how has no one figured this out yet, they literally made his whole thing about how he can’t lie just to cover up the fact that there’s just no way bro was telling the truth about everything . Like dude was definitely not 6’3”. I know, it’s physically conceivable that he was that tall. But like, that’s definitely just some propagandist myth, right? Like they just had to hype him up so that people would think he was like mad cool, but I guarantee bro was both unchill and homophobic. Also bro definitely wanted at least a little tiny bit to run for a third term. Like I would be so unsurprised if he has some chronic illness or something that stopped him from giving it another go. Dude just had the greatest hype men ever and they earned him all his clout. I may not be much, but I am nothing if I am not a George Washington hater. Ugly ass mofo.