Shapes I don't like (comprehensive list/ranking)

"Nobody cares about triangles, they're not even round." Never have truer words been spoken. That quote, sourced from this video, which I highly recommend you all watch, is one of my favorite lines from any piece of media ever. Not only does it precede the fabled Trigonometry Baby's death (again, watch the video, trust me), but it also brings up a fascinating point (or argument against)*. What makes shapes good? Obviously, the initial claim is expertly expressed, and is an opinion widely shared amongst many whom I have interacted with in my lifetime. Triangles' lack of roundness makes them one of the worst shapes. However, despite also not being round, squares are fucking awesome. It goes without saying that squares are certainly more round than triangles, and they both have the same number of degrees as circles do, but that does not totally explain how squares have such a domination in the shape-sphere. In a world where roundness is viewed as perfection, it makes little sense that a shape with as few as four straight sides could valuable in the slightest. It is hard to find explanations for things such as this (why we like certain shapes), and so it is for that reason that I will do a much easier task, which is to rank and analyze the shapes that I don't like. Disliking shapes is far easier to discuss than liking them, so I'm sure this is gonna be a doozy. Anyways, here is the list (1 is the one I dislike the least):

  1. Triangle - Dude, I already started on this earlier, but what the fuck. These fucking things, they don't earn any respect at all. Trigonometry is so fucking stupid (in reality it's actually crazy and lowkey respectable but I need to stick to the bit) I can't fucking stand triangles. Sine me up to be on a list of people who can't fucking standing all things three-sided. 
  2. Rhombus - Squares are perfect. Rectangles are faulty squares, but are still satisfactory as far as I'm concerned. Rhombi are faulty rectangles, and this is where I draw a line. Everyone knows right angles are the fucking best. Like seriously, so great. I cannot stress this enough: I love right angles. So, when the beautiful, divine creation that is the square is desecrated by the augmentation if its sacred angles to a point past recognition, I am oft found in an vitriolic mood. 
  3. Rounded-corner triangle - These always remind me of the AirBnB logo, which I just don't like at all. 
  4. Nonagon - Nine sides is just plain weird. No one needs that, it's just unnecessary. I'm serious, guys, I just can't deal with that number of sides. I can't do it. Ten, fine. Eleven, sure. Eight, even, it's chill I guess. Nine, though, that's just not right at all. 
  5. Balloon/lightbulb shape - What the fuck even is this. It's so awful, like, come on. I just can't even wrap my head around it. Like not one bit. I do not like it. All things should be spheres, as I do declare. 



*Joke explained (I'm gonna start doing this because it's stupid and funny): The joke here is that the quote is complaining about triangles not being round. Triangles are not round by virtue of them having vertices or "points." I said that the quote made a "point" (as in an argument), but because the word "point" has multiple meanings, I added the parenthetical to say that the quote was making an argument against "points" (vertices). 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

OTLRN 1 (INTRO)

I can't fucking do this anymore. It's simply too much. I just can't fucking do it. Everyday, I go out and I act as if everything I do is normal. The fuck? Nothing I do is remotely normal. I should be going out to beg people for help, to ask for their forgiveness, to reckon with person I've become. Every single fucking day my sincere belief that I am the antichrist grows. There's no other explanation. The devil doesn't make himself known. He hides. He gets people on his side, slowly corrupting them until they've sunk all the way down to his fiery domain. I can hardly look at myself. How am I any different? Every action I take, I slowly take society down with me. The intangible fabric that has sustained our globalized planet is being frayed, and I am driving its destruction. I am what's wrong with the world. Not the idiots, not the bigots, not the goddamn politicians. None of them could exist without me. I am evil personified—the snake in our waning garden...
Read more

My top 10 favorite songs (revisited (again))

Had the idea to do another one of these last night, and it turns out I made the last one exactly one year ago today. The list had definitely seen some major changes in the last year, but I won’t give anything away. Here’s the list: Honorable mentions: America - “Sister Golden Hair,” Gorillaz - “Rhinestone Eyes,” Blaze Foley - “No Goodwill Stores in Waikiki”  10. Simon & Garfunkel - “The Boxer” Not sure what really got me into this song, but I just cannot get over that tuba (or whatever it is). I don’t think I have too much more to say just a beautiful song.  9. Steely Dan - “Do It Again” This song reenters the list for the same reason it was on it in the first place: the groove. Also, I think the mythos of this song has just continued to grow on me over time; the more people I’ve listened to it with, the stronger its aura gets.  8. Joey Bada$$ - “Waves” This song stays in my top 10 because I just can’t get over how smooth it is. Surely I said something along the same ...
Read more

Seat rankings

Today, I will be ranking things that you can sit on/in using an equivalent scale of juices (from tomato to mango). I know I've said this, but today I'm actually keeping the post short and sweet, so no explanations will be given (apologies if you disagree).  Tomato Juice: Stools Pear Juice: Benches Grapefruit Juice: Lawn/beach chairs Pineapple Juice: Regular-style chairs Pomegranate Juice: Beanbag chairs Orange Juice (with pulp): Cushy rolly chairs Apple Juice: Couches Cranberry Juice: Rocking chairs Mango Juice:  Bungee chairs
Read more